Is Santa porn real?

The internet is a place filled with memes, trolls, and porn. Lots of porn. It’s a crazy place that gets into every part of the internet and even has its own set of rules. Within all the madness, can you even find Santa porn?

Way back in 1998, Google was first used to search for stuff and since then it’s become the way to find all kinds of crap, and plenty of sex both amateur and professional. Santa porn is up there, depending on the time of year.

Based on the rules of the internet, you’d expect these search results to return good, sexy content. What does that mean exactly? We’re going to get into:

What exactly the rules of the internet are
How that affects Santa porn
What you can expect to see when you find Santa porn

So you can know exactly what you’re getting into.

What are the rules of the internet?

Way back when the internet was a mad place where MySpace was the cool place to be, MSN was where the chat was at, and everyone knew what a/s/l meant, there were rules.

The rules weren’t designed by governments, parents, or even fancy NGOs with too much time and money. People at the periphery of the internet came up with a set of rules that defined the internet.

Well, one specific site at least.

The rules of the internet began on a site called Encyclopaedia Dramatica in 2006 and were further embedded into net culture on 4chan in 2007. This is where the rules grew and developed, becoming what we know them as today.

What is Rule 34?

Now we get to Rule 34. Not heard of Rule 34? It’s pretty simple:

Rule 34: There is porn of it. No exceptions.

If you care to disagree, then you’ve really not spent enough time on the internet.

Whatever porn you’re looking for, someone has already thought of it, filmed it, edited it, and uploaded it to your favorite porn sites.

Are there any other internet rules about sex?

Since there is so much sex on the internet – just like life – there are other rules about sex and sexuality.

First, there’s Rule 44, which says “Everything is someone’s sexual fetish”.

Honestly, we’re not even going to try to argue. From common fetishes like feet and spanking to more niche content like water sports and bukkake, everyone gets turned on by something. Just like Rule 34 says, you’re bound to find it on the internet, too.

Next, we’ve got Rule 45. In the original rules, it said “Cock goes here”, which is basically saying that the internet is for masturbating. Most of it is, to be fair.

In later versions, Rule 45 has become lots of other things, but we like the original version.

Does Rule 34 mean that there is Santa porn?

Put simply, hell yes.

Santa porn is super popular, as we saw in the graph above. When people search for stuff, content soon gets made if it didn’t exist already.

People tend to go hunting for seasonal porn starting around late November and it quickly drops off once the New Year rolls around. It’s to be expected, would you really want to watch an old dude with a grey beard getting banged in July?

That being said, Santa is a huge sex symbol. We reckon Santa is the ultimate daddy – have you seen how hot Mrs. Claus is?

You’d expect nothing less than a ton of porn about the fat bearded one. He’s got power, he’s got a sweet job where he works one day a year, and he knows where all the naughty and nice women live, depending on how he’s feeling.

When you type in a search for “Santa porn” you’re going to get lots of treats.

What is Santa porn?

Santa porn is the porn you know and love with a sexy holiday theme.

You’ll find all kinds of content when you put this into your search bar, with things like:

Santa outfits – for the women this tends to be bright red lingerie, sometimes with white fur trim, exposing everything she has. For the man, he’ll get head around his red pants and lick pussy through a long white beard.
Sexy presents – ‘tis the season of giving, so would you expect anything other than big dicks getting presented in shiny boxes, tinkling bells attached to pert boobs, and cute pussies all tied up with cute bows, ready to be explored?
Festive scenery – the setting for Santa porn is generally super Christmassy, with elements like Christmas trees in the background, fairy lights flashing as the woman cums, and reindeers and other ornaments decorating the scene.

Other things you’ll find to have a tug or fap to include red and white Santa hats bobbing away, angel wings on little hotties, and Christmas candle wax dripped on flesh.

Who watches Santa porn?

We don’t track who exactly goes looking for Santa porn – you do you, boo. However, we can tell you where most of the global searches for sexy Christmas Santa sex come from:

Trinidad & Tobago
Bolivia
Puerto Rico
Sri Lanka
India

Worth noting that there are barely any Christians in the fourth- and fifth-placed countries – maybe it’s more acceptable to watch a childhood icon getting his dick wet when it’s not your culture?