How to Save Your Sex Life – Our Top 5 Tips
When you’re looking for ways to improve your sex life, a blog on a pornography website is a good place to start. We know a lot about sex, in all it’s wonderful glory, fun, and downright filth.
Especially when you’ve been with your partner for a while, your sex life can go stale and become samey. You don’t have to accept that as the future of your bedroom activity. There are plenty of ways you can improve your sex life if you’re prepared to put some effort into it.
To give you some ideas, we’ve got our top five tips to save your sex life, whether you’re straight, gay, or anywhere else on the spectrum of sexuality. These tips can apply to pretty much all relationships, but if these things are exactly what your sex life is now, maybe try some vanilla sex and chill?
We’re going to look into:
- How simply talking can improve your sex life
- Bringing toys into your relationship to add some fun
- Using roleplay to take your sex life out of the bedroom
- Different ways that porn can improve your sex life
- Experimenting with positions to get a better bedroom experience
1. Talking can improve your sex life
Do you feel like your sex life has gone sour? The same days, the same time, position, and duration? We don’t blame you for being bored!
To start to save your sex life, you first need to talk to your partner. They’re probably as frustrated as you are. Telling them that you’re not feeling the routine and want something more or different should spark a journey of exploration.
Be sure to be sensitive – it’s possible your partner feels happy with whatever isn’t quite satisfying you so make sure the conversation is full of assurances that you’re not complaining, but are looking for something more.
You need to be ready to talk about what you do want. Whether you want to add some dirty talk, baby talk, or dominant/submissive talk to your sex, for example, you need to ready to explain it.
Similarly, you might like the idea of sharing fantasies with your partner. This can be a very powerful way to explore both of yours sexuality and make your sex more interesting – you’ll learn what they like and dream of. Particularly for women, words can be very powerful for them so exploring sexual talk with a female partner can lead to a much better sex life.
2. Toying around in the bedroom
Sex toys can be a part of any healthy sexual relationship. Although it’s understandable to have feelings like you’re not enough for your partner when they want to use toys, that’s rarely the case.
Toys can help your sex life in two circumstances:
- Using sex toys on your own can help you understand your body and how you orgasm so you can better explain it to your partner. It can also be a way of experimenting with something before introducing into your relationship, for example a straight man might want to explore anal toys before taking them to his partner.
- Sex toys with your partner can offer sensations and experiences that neither of you had felt before. Lots of toys vibrate in different ways which will likely be new, and a woman can experience double penetration without bringing in a second partner, as some examples.
Also, toys don’t have to be all dildos and cock rings. If you’re both happy to, bringing in toys like spankers, whips, and cuffs might be want you need to see a much-improved sex life. Learn about what will work for you through talking.
Check out our guide to some of the best sex toys for different needs to learn more about what your options are.
Improving your sex life with role-play
Make believe isn’t just for kids. After talking with your partner and hearing their fantasies, you might think “that actually sounds pretty fun”. There’s nothing stopping you from making yours or your partner’s fantasy come true.
Of course, you need to respect the laws of where you are so be careful with some common fantasies like having sex in public places. Aside from that, as long you both consent you can dive deep into your fantasies and bring them to life through acting them out.
This can be in the form of:
- Dressing up as characters in the bedroom
- Going to a bar and playing the “pick up a stranger” fantasy
- The handyman/bored housewife trope
- Having a raging argument and passionate make up sex
Or pretty much anything that you can imagine.
Be understanding with your partner’s suggestions for role play, and don’t be afraid to explain yours. Even if it may be extreme, such as a rape or kidnap fantasy, you can think of ways to adapt it so neither of you will be uncomfortable or get into legal trouble.
What’s really important with role play is to have a safe word. This is a word that you wouldn’t normally say but you can call out when either of you is uncomfortable. The word “stop” might not be useful when you’re in a sub/dom fantasy for example.
Using porn to improve your sex life
Watching porn in commonly thought of as a solo pursuit and mainly for men, but it’s not always so. Bringing porn into your sex life can have a really positive effect.
First, if you or your partner finds it hard to explain with words what they want or like, then having them show you pornography they want to emulate or talk about can be a great want to pull out desires.
Next, pornography can serve as inspiration. If you’re not sure what a pool boy fantasy looks like, there’s plenty of porn that starts with that story. Maybe you know you’d like to be spanked or use toys during sex but aren’t sure how – porn can be a way to start to understand your options.
Finally, you may want to have people watch you have sex but not have swingers clubs nearby, or the confidence to go to them. You and your partner can make your own sex tape and put them online.
It’s a simple as creating an account with SinParty, verifying your age and identity, then you can start posting your videos and taking custom requests. You can choose to show your face, or not, and make bank for doing what you enjoy anyways.
Switching up positions to save your sex life
According to a survey, the three favorite sex positions of UK and US couples are:
- Doggy style
- Missionary
- Cowgirl/boy
These are likely your go-to positions but there are plenty more out there.
You can discover new sex positions in different ways. One of the oldest books in the world still in print, the Karma Sutra, is filled with myriad sex positions and there are lots of other books and websites that you can check out.
Porn can be another inspiration for new sex positions to try. Although you may find that sex in porn in geared towards getting good shots of dick in pussy or ass, there will always be something new going on in sex that you’ll find in porn to try.
Be sure to give lots of reassurance to your partner if they’ve conscious about their body. Lots of new sex positions can feel quite exposing with new ways for your jiggly bits to bounce. Lots of nice words (or nasty ones, if that’s what they like) and a sense of fun an exploration will put everyone at ease.
Saving your sex life
When you feel like the physical spark has begun to flicker between you and your partner, it’s time to find ways to make your sex life better. Lots of people think about finishing a relationship when the sexual joy has gone, but if you connect in different ways it’s definitely worth working on the sex.
Talking about your needs and expressing what you want to see change or get better is the first step. No one ever solved a problem by pretending it wasn’t there. Then, make a plan that will work for you both to try new things.
Dildos and vibrators can add new feelings, and playing out the fantasies that you both have can make your sex feel different each time. Still need more inspiration? Watching pornography is there to let you explore what you both want.
It’s not just about a hole getting banged – there are loads of different types of porn and you can even use sites like SinParty to order custom pornography videos for you and your partner to enjoy together. This way, you can set the tone and make sure you’re watching what you will enjoy.
Finally, changing up the position you have sex in can do wonders for your sex life. Different bits of the body can be stimulated and you can explore yours and your partner’s bodies in new ways.
Improving your sex life isn’t going to happen overnight though. A lot of these things will take time and effort on the part of both you and your other half, but if they’re worth it then it won’t feel like hard work.
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