Anal 101: Are Anal Orgasms Real and How to Experience One?

Anal 101: Are Anal Orgasms Real and How to Experience One?

All things booty are a hot topic right now. From exercise techniques for toning your glutes to admiring Kim Kardashian’s booty, to twerking and butt enhancers, there is an entire industry induced by the booty-mania. However, there is one final frontier of this whole thing that still comes with a bit of taboo. Anal.

Maybe it is entirely reasonable to feel that way since stepping into the anal arena does feel strange at first. No one talks about it, and you can only see it in the porn industry, so it can feel a bit intimidating. How to ease into it? Is it safe? Can a woman enjoy it? And most importantly: are women able to have an anal orgasm?

Photo by Dainis Graveris

If you have read tons of information, especially personal experiences, it all may seem intimidating because everyone is different, and their experiences are very subjective. So, before we go on to explaining how to reach an anal orgasm and details regarding its safety, let’s hit basics first.

What is an anal orgasm?

First of all, there is such thing as anal orgasm, and it can be quite pleasurable for both sides. However, there are ways in which you can ease into it and get used to the sensation.

An anal orgasm is a climax achieved by stimulating the nerve spots in the anus. They are located in high-density spots and are very stimulating. People frequently associate orgasms with the clitoris and penis only, but the truth is, orgasms are nothing but a sudden release of sexual tension, which can be reached in many different ways, including anally.

How is anal orgasm felt?

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter

The entire genital area, whether male or female, has shared nerves from the anterior wall of the rectum to the vagina or penis. For women, sexual arousal can occur from rectal stimulation just as much as it can happen from clitoral stimulation. The legs of the clitoris reach back to the anus, so only by stimulating the anus, a woman can get clit stimulation as well.

For men, anal stimulation triggers pleasure in the prostate area (a tiny gland located between the bladder and the penis), which gives men orgasms if they are relaxed enough.

To trigger these highly sensitive areas, your partner should try and push up towards the belly button first using a finger, then maybe a toy and penis lastly. This is how to ease into anal because going from zero to penis might cause discomfort and even pain. When pushing up towards the belly button, just like you would target the G-spot in the vagina, you are stimulating the shared central nerve area where sensations are felt well.

Tips on reaching anal orgasm

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Just like one becomes better at kissing or sex, generally by practicing, the same happens with anal sex. It requires preparation, finesse, and practice, but most of all, wanting to try it and having a reliable partner who you trust to do it with.

Start slow&solo

Anal training is best done solo. Just you and your fingers. This is the first stage where you want to simply train your nerves to the sensations that can be felt there. Be the giver and the receiver, as that is the best way to control what happens. After that, try using a slim plug or anal beads as the next stage. This way, you can pinpoint what you like and what you don’t like.

Invite your partner

Photo by Simon Hajducki

Once you have experimented with the feeling on your own and you are quite comfortable, invite your partner to join. This way you will feel new sensations and have a chance to accustom to them too. When you are with your partner, do what usually gets you to the finish line. Choose what you already know you like because no one knows you better than you do. Especially when it comes to sex.

Toys, toys, toys

If you normally like to incorporate toys while having sex, why not hold that vibrator stationed between your legs while your partner stimulates your anus? It will relax you and stimulate your vaginal area so you can focus more on the pleasure and less on the discomfort.
Whatever might work for you, try it out and stick with what you know.


While sticking to the old ways may help in the beginning, it also won’t hurt to add new things to your sexual repertoire. For example, try incorporating anal play into penetrative sex just to get used to the arousal while having vaginal sex, or use a butt plug or finger to get an all-around tighter fit.

Lubricate generously

Photo by Jakob Owens

While many people don’t use any lubrication when having vaginal sex, the anus does not self-lubricate. This is why, to avoid friction and small tears inside the anal canal, you need to keep things slick. The fact is, if anal orgasm is the goal, you’re going to need to lubricate liberally.

One important thing to remember is never to use a lube that contains a numbing agent. It may sound good because you think it will save you from discomfort, but it will also rob you of all the pleasures you are set out to feel during the intercourse. Additionally, it may even make you numb to the pain from a rough session until it’s too late, so you won’t be able to react on time and will get some sort of sexual injury. So, start slow but go all in, and enjoy the ride.

Additional techniques to try

Playing is half the fun, no matter what you do, so why not play with different methods to find what works for you and what doesn’t. These are some of the most pleasurable moves to try.

Get “analingual”

Get your partner to stimulate you with his tongue first to wake up your erogenous zones that will relax you overall. Use the tongue to boost the anal area and the butt cheeks before going inside the opening with the tip, darting it in and out.

Use the fingers

Lube your finger and insert it into the anus. When inside, curl it into an upward position or the “come hither” position and make that motion while gradually increasing the depth and speed. Once your partner feels comfortable and feels pleasure, try inserting a second finger and continuing the action in that “come hither” position.


Photo by Charles Deluvio

When you find the spot that makes them go “oooh,” start increasing the pressure going in circular motions in the area of the A-spot or P-spot. Start slowly and pick up the pace at your partner’s request — or based on their oohs and ahs. Play with pressure, as well as speed, to find the magic combo.

Penis, strap-on, or sex toys

Fingers can only do so much. So once your partner has accustomed to the finger play, go further with the penetration. Play with toys that have different types of vibrations and different pulse settings. Find the combo that works best for them. There are the toys that are double duty and can stimulate perineum or clitoris during penetration. Every little detail adds up to the pleasure and relaxation, taking off the tension from the anal sex.

Different stimuli to try out

Whatever you do, do not focus on the anal penetration only. Incorporate other stimulation even though an anal orgasm is the goal.

Stimulate the clitoral and overall vaginal area with your hands or fingers. If you are penetrating the vaginal area, try the “come hither” motion with your fingers, and if you hit the elusive G-spot, it’s a double win, while the butt is receiving some love. Penile stimulation is an excellent way of relaxing your partner too. A good ol’ fashioned handjob is an easy add-on to anal play. This way, their brain will associate the good feeling from the penis with the anal stimulation and will make him get used to the whole sensation easily.

Do not forget the erogenous zones too. There are dozens of potentially pleasurable zones that can boost the satisfaction of the anal sex. Explore the rest of the body and stay there when it gives your partner the most pleasure: knees, breasts, neck, stomach, and all the other sensitive areas.

Positions to try anal in


The following positions are the most anal-friendly. Here’s how to do each one.


If you are doing this by yourself, then reach your arm behind you and rest it on your back. Touch your perineum or anus with your finger and tease and linger as it feels good. If you are doing this with your partner, then again lying facedown, rest your arms at your sides and legs slightly apart. Relax while your partner massages your anus and penetrates.

Leg to chest position

If you are doing this on your own, then lie on your side and bring your outer leg up towards your chest while reaching your hand around to your anus. Having your leg lifted like this gives you more space to explore and stimulate as desired. However, if you are doing this with your partner, then go in the same position and just let him/her stimulate you as desired.

Anal doggy

If you are trying the doggy style with your partner, we strongly recommend that you don’t do it immediately from the beginning, but once you have accustomed to it in some of the other more beginner-friendly positions. Let him/her massage and penetrate as slowly or as urgently as you’d like.

Cow position

This is another position just like the doggy one where your partner should lie on their back and have their penis or their well-positioned toy straddled with your knees on either side of their hips and your hands on the bed or floor. Lower your butt and use your hips and hands to control the depth.

The takeaway

Anal sex can be as pleasurable as vaginal sex. It’s just a matter of being open-minded and willing to try and perfect until you get it right. Lots of lube, sex toys, fingers, and a good mood for overall pleasure.

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