Written by Ryan Bread
When it comes to sex work community is everything! The most important thing to take away from what you’re about to read is that mutual support, respect, aid, and boundaries are paramount to everything else. From what I’ve seen there is nothing a tight knit group of swers cannot handle. As you read on I urge you to remember that one of the joys of working with other performers is the opportunity to form lifelong friendships and connections.
Showing up with kindness
Entering the world of sw you’ll come into contact with other performers online via social media or in the real world that you’re interested in working and connecting with. The first thing to remember is that they are also people, and to put your best foot forward. Introduce yourself as you would in any other interaction! As you begin talking about the type of content you’ll shoot together, be very clear on what you are looking to create. Then establish each other’s boundaries and hard limits. This is also the time to talk about STI screening and status’ should you be engaging in fluid exchange. It’ll always be better to get clear with one another and talk about this before shoot day.
A hard limit can be anything from not wanting to kiss, not wanting to do fetish content, or only wanting to use a certain type of toy.
You may not know yet what you are comfortable with performing and that’s ok, communicate that and take it slowly as you might with any other intimate interaction outside of work.
Paperwork and performer releases
These days most websites use in-house release paperwork. For example if you intend to post the content you shoot onto Only Fans all you will need to do is tag the other performer in the post or the mass message. This makes things really easy if you’re both using and verified on the same website. Manyvids has a similar system to Only Fans in that sense. This is generally the easiest way to go about performer releases for clips. If you’re streaming together most sites also allow you to simply tag the other performer before logging onto stream.
In some cases if the other person isn’t verified on the platform you’re using you’ll have to find the “Release Forms” page on whatever site you may be using. Essentially all you need to do is verify their name and age. It’s quite simple and only takes a few minutes to do so.
If you’re not certain where you’ll be posting the content and you want to manage the release forms off-platform you can use a “Talent Release” form. These are Googleable and can be filled out with any PDF editor. It’s a matter of finding one that suits your situation best, as most of the time they are intended for actors or models. Generally you won’t need to go this route and using the in-house release forms will be more simple.
Now onto something more fun!
What to pack on shoot day or for a night on stream
First and foremost think about what you’ll wear and how you’ll style your hair and make up. As well as considering how that look will relate to your co-performers look! Often if you are on a professional set the outfits and makeup will be provided to you, but when you produce content independently you can decide these elements for yourself. Have fun with it and reflect on the sort of aesthetic you’d like to curate for your personal brand, and how that correlates to your co-performer’s own aesthetic choices.
- Camera gear (camera, tripod, lighting, SD cards, extra batteries)
- Laptop and webcam (if you’re streaming)
- Outfit(s)
- Make up
- Make up remover and skincare
- Oral hygiene products
- Toys and materials (vibrators, lube, dildos, ropes, paddles, etc.)
- Water and snacks
It’s important to prioritise your comfort while you’re on set as this can be a vulnerable experience if you’re a bit shy or new to this sort of work. Making sure you’re hydrated, well fed, and well prepared is essential groundwork to set yourself up for success on shoot day!
A quick note on lube:
When using a silicone toy do not use a silicone based lube with it, the molecules can bond together and make the toy sticky and it won’t be safe to use anymore. Oil and oil based lubes should also not be used with silicone toys, condoms, dental dams, etc. The oil will deteriorate the material and make it unsafe to use. Water based lubes are almost always a safe bet to use with any sort of toy.
After the shoot
Check in with yourself and your co-performer. It’s good to touch base after performing to make sure that everyone is feeling safe and comfortable with what you’ve both performed, especially if the scene was intense or involving BDSM. At this point it could feel nice to tidy up, change sheets, disassemble the shooting/streaming set up, wash off makeup, and change into comfy clothes. This is also a great time to ensure everyone is hydrated and fed! Some of the most satisfying meals are the ones eaten in kind company after making a bag.
A quick note on chafing:
There may be times after shooting where, depending on the content produced, you may feel genital dryness or chafing. A great solution for that is Vmagic Balm by Medicine Mama. It’s a salve to help calm those sensations should they arise. However it is oil based so be sure to only use it after shooting and not during if you are using a silicone toy, condoms, dental dams, etc.
A quick note on PH balance:
If you notice changes in your smell a few days after performing you might have thrown off your PH balance a bit. This is completely normal and nothing to worry about. A solution is to use a boric acid suppository. Though of course this is not a replacement for regular STI screenings.
If you and your co-performer are spending the night with one another, staying in a hotel together, or continuing to hang out after shooting it could be good to do an activity to decompress post-scene and post clean up. This can look like watching a movie, pulling tarot cards, chatting over brownies and cups of tea, whatever suits you and feels soothing.
It may seem like second nature if you and your co-performer hit it off on shoot/stream day, but be sure to check back in with them once things are said and done! Not only is this an opportunity to keep in touch with someone within your community, but it’s an opportunity to make a friend. Beyond working together it’s key to foster connections with other swers you feel a kinship to. You will certainly experience plenty of kindness from people who are not in the industry, particularly as sex work becomes more and more normalized, but the people who are or have been involved in the industry will understand so much on an intrinsic level, and in a way that is invaluable to feeling seen and heard. While it is business to work together it is also an opportunity to cultivate community support and friendship.
To follow and see more of Ryan Bread:
Twitter / X – @ryanbreadd
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