Weird Sex Laws – 10 of the Strangest

Humans can be weird about sex, so we write some weird sex laws. Some of the laws about sex from around the world are head-scratchers. It makes you think “why does that need to even be a law?” sometimes.

Along with bans on porn around the world, in more than fifty countries – check out the infographic for details – there are some mad, strange, and weird sex laws that you need to know about.

It’s important we take a moment to understand where a lot of these laws come from. Oppressing the sexuality of women has been ingrained in cultures and religions the world over. Some women still deal with it today.

We’re here to poke fun and the ridiculous laws that people have come up with the keep sexuality down and have clearly failed. You’re here laughing at them, right?

1.      Keep it in the dark

Getting laid in Budapest should be cool – plenty of hip, bohemian types, cheap beer, romantic architecture. When you get your night’s ride into the bedroom, you want to be able to check out the goods.

Not possible in the Hungarian capital. Weirdly, it’s illegal for you to have sex with the lights on in Budapest.

2.      Secret smooching

Public displays of affection are all around in western countries. It’s the most normal thing in the world to give your partner a kiss hello or goodbye in the street. A bit of a grope; a fumble in the park. Too far?

In India, it’s illegal for a man and a woman to kiss in public. It doesn’t matter if you’re married or not, young or old, it’s strictly no kissing on the streets of the sub-continent.

3.      Getting in a twist

In hot countries, going commando feels awesome. Letting everything hang out, keeping everything fresh and breezy – it’s a dream to leave the underwear at home.

Except in Thailand. It’s fully illegal to not wear knickers or boxers over there.

The question begs, who’s actually policing this law? Even more pertinent, will you be allowed to get dressed after skinny-dipping before getting hauled to the police?

4.      Sweet and sweaty dreams

Warm nights are perfect for naked sleeping. You get to really feel the quality of your bedsheets and get sexy skin contact with whoever is lying next to you that night.

Feel sorry for the folk from Minnesota, USA. For reasons only know to the Minnesotan law makers at the time, it’s illegal to go to bed naked. Luckily the state only gets up to about 23° on the best summer days, so it’s not going to be too uncomfortable…

You also can’t go into the state wearing a chicken or duck head. Furries aren’t going to be happy about that one….

5.      Hats off for the ladies

You might disagree with this being a sex law, but no one’s here to judge you for a fetish. Water sports are completely valid if you’re into them, and if you’re super lucky, one day you might be in for a massive treat.  

UK law says that if a pregnant woman wants to pee, a policeman is obliged to provide his helmet so she can relieve herself. I wonder if the policeman would know the price he could sell his helmet for after she’d finished.

Sticking with the British’s strange thing with peeing laws, as a truck driver you’re legally allowed to pee on to the tyre of your front right wheel. Only when you’re stopped though.

6.      Testing, test, 1, 2…

The global HIV/AIDs pandemic isn’t something to take lightly. We all know it’s a huge issue and using condoms is the best way to prevent it. It’s not the type of thing you want to be thinking about in the run up to your nuptials, though.

For every couple intending to marry in Mexico, they must complete a HIV test. Definitely worth knowing what you’re in store for, but also takes the moment away – “babe, before we consummate this, I need your HIV certificate.”

It’s a pretty sensible, yet still rather weird sex law.

7.      Unpowered solo flight

We all like to get ourselves off now and then. Or more often than that. Weekly? Daily? Whatever floats your boat, there’s not judgement on these pages.

Every woman will have her favourite sex toy, that is if you’re allowed to buy dildos in the first place. Vietnam has a blanket ban on all sex toys, although it’s not widely enforced.

The faux-Korean shop Miniso started selling “face massagers” with conveniently curved ends where the replacement facial brush went. Within two weeks all the massager units were sold out and ne’ry a massager head was bought. Here’s to the inventive women of Vietnam getting their rocks off where they can.

8.      Don’t get gushy

Ah, the elusive female orgasm. Somewhere between 10-50 percent of women can experience female ejaculation. You’d think enough scientists would be porn watchers for someone to want to get that number more accurate.

In the UK, no matter how much juice flows forth from a vagina, it’s completely illegal to film squirting in a UK porn production.

9.      Check it out

Going away for a dirty weekend is loads of fun. Hit a hotel, don’t get dressed the whole time – unless you want some beach time. It’s not that simple for some people on the planet, with weird restrictions on hotel check-ins.

Egypt has a law where only married couples can check-in to a hotel together. How are you supposed to know you can survive marriage without trying the goods first? It’s more relaxed for foreigners, but spare a though for local couple who just want to get laid in peace.

In Indonesia in 2019 the government tried to introduce a law meaning unmarried couples couldn’t share a hotel room. When half the Aussies going to Bali pointed out they’d no longer visit, it was quietly shelved.

10. Total blowout

One of the weirdest sex laws is the blowjob ban in the US. Not the whole country, just 18 states, with mainly male legislatures, that decided not getting deep throated ever again was worth it to keep up their blatant homophobia.

States such as Georgia, Michigan, and Utah all have laws on the books banning all types of oral sex. Imagine the conversation, “honey I can’t lick your pussy tonight, I just made it illegal.”

Outlawing oral sex and other acts of consenting sex between adults was found to be unconstitutional back in 2003 so the weird sex laws can’t be enforced. They still hang around on the books, though.